I called Santander today asking how to change the details of
an account. I wanted to add a new user to the accounts clipDO holds with them.
I get to speak to someone after some generic automated options.
Its then that things get silly. I am asked to confirm my name.
I am told that’s not right. We try again, do they have John, Jon, Jonathan… I
wonder what they typed in at opening. If they are as dyslexic as I am we could be here all night. We get there in the end. It was the
missing middle name.
I am then asked for my address. I hand this over and am told
that’s not right. We go through a few loops of this until I understand they
have some post office DB or other source of addresses so now its a game of guess
what’s in the DB… Those of you with addresses that are easily varied, flats, roads
with two names, cross street names etc. will understand the pain here. "I live at 66 Acacia Avenue", "thats not what we have sir".... We get there in the
end…
I am a little tired now and we are 9 mins in already
Next…"do you have blah"? No. "Ok what’s blah"?. I go
into the account on the web and tell the nice lady. DOB.. managed that in one. We are there… "what would you like to do again" I can hear her
think?
Right.. you wanted to add a name to the account. “I need to
send you a form to do that”, “would you like it emailed or posted”? I choose the email. It arrives as we conclude the call. There is just a simple
plain form. No info pre-filled, no specifics about me or my account, nothing. Its
just a form.
Its here if you want to see how silly all this was: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/41238277/ChangeOfSigs.pdf
So now I ask the nice lady… “why did we have to go through
all that”? “Why when I asked to add a name did you not just send the form”?
“security” I am told. Of course security. “could I not just forward
this blank form to anyone now”? Actually it is even available here on their website: Change of Details
Form on Santander Web
She says “security” again… a little less convinced but
sticking to the now clearly very silly script.
This kind of thing really annoys me. Think of the multiples
of 17 minutes wasted on such processes. I kick myself for not google-ing it
first. I DID look if there was any way to add someone online in the account pages but
no luck... which I was not remotely surprised about.
We are all the poorer for such process stupidity as it saps efficiency and growth. Let's see what Santander have to say in a few weeks.
